The Do’s and Don’t’s of Denim for Dudes

Men, I know it’s hard to shop, and hardest of all is shopping for jeans. I know, and I’m sorry about that. But that’s what this post is here for: to help you get out of ugly ass jeans and get your gorgeous ass into a pair that looks amazing and makes you feel indestructible (that’s what you want, right?). Plus, when you find what works for you, your entire wardrobe has new relevance and significance! First, watch this video, Denim for Dudes, then read on for some do’s and don’t’s, general jeans shopping tips and of course, some recommendations.

ugly, awful jeans, front and back, up and down. gag.

Don’ts:
AT this point in time, you absolutely must stop wearing anything embroidered. Any excessive embellishment (practically everything True Religion makes) should make you feel embarrassed.
WIDE leg is DUN-ZO. Gone. See Do’s.
NEVER crease the leg! Ew!
WATCH out for excessive, unauthentic whiskering (those lines that make it look as if you’ve been wearing those things forever).
THE waist should not hit above the belly button.
NEVER wear bunchy boxers under your jeans. Make the switch to boxer briefs or tighty whities. Think your package is too big? Well, balls are like boobs, they NEED and CRAVE support. You’re welcome.
BACK pocket detailing is out. Cool details like small knives? Great. Logos and emblems are fugs.
BACK pockets shouldn’t be too big or too little.
LEAVE the jeggings for girls, your jeans shouldn’t fit too tight even if you are a punk.
AVOID pulling a John Hamm. Leave room in your crotch and avoid a bulging bulge!
BOOTCUT‘s are for bonafide cowboys and some motorcyclists only (which reminds me of my favorite South Park ep).

Great fit from Skargorn jeans

Do’s:
SLIM, straight, skinny slouch, tapered, skinny, Classic fits are all OK. Slim, straight and classic are great for dudes on the bigger side. You’ll want to look for a slight taper – this means your leg will appear straight. If it’s straight, you’ll look boxy.
BOXY is only OK when your jean is cuffed.
CUFF jeans without socks or with boots.
TRY raw denim: This simply means the denim has not been treated and has the ability to mold to your body and movements. You don’t really wash them (freezing them supposedly kills any bacteria build up) and it takes a full 10 months to break in, but once you do, you’ll never want to wear another pair of jeans.
BACK pockets should be proportionate to your butt. If it’s too big, you’ll look way smaller. If it’s too small, you’ll look way bigger (not in a good way).
OPT for room and sagginess under the butt and in the knee. If you need a style that’s loose throughout, make sure it just skims your biggest parts. you don’t want to make your bigger parts baggy and even bigger.

Now, for some favorites:
SPLURGES:
Iron Heart
APC (Only one cut and they’re great)
RRL (Beautiful selvedge and raw jeans, and vintage numbers worth the splurge)
R13 (slim fit’s are fantastically distressed $425, shown left)

WELL PRICED PREMIUM DENIM:
Earnest Sewn (Kyrre in Ponyboy, $180)
Skargorn (order from unscruff.com!)
AG (Protege Slim Straight are especially great for heavier set dudes, $215)
JBrand (Tyler and Kane are my favorites $180)
Edwin (Japanese selvedge on American looms!)
Rogue Territory (Stanton’s and SK’s are where it’s at!)

BARGAIN:
!item! (303’s shown here or 311’s are fantastic. Click here for stores.)
Levi’s (511’s and 513’s are great, classic 501’s are awesome raw)
Topman (1940’s and 1920’s are super hot)
Gap 1969   (easy and loose fit are AWFUL! Just awful! opt for authentic, original and slim only)

STYLING IDEAS from unscruff:

Another way to take the pain out of shopping for jeans? Trust the fine gents at unscruff.com who will literally send you the best pair of jeans without spending a fortune.